Previous English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the condition.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the minute," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and getting ready for when the illness progresses.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I handle situations uniquely, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he continued.
Initial Signs
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some weakness in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the problem, a set of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately very affected about it, but it's so strange because I feel like nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't sense poorly
"My indications are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to performing whatever I want. And with luck that will continue for as long as is possible."
Illness Progression
MND can progress swiftly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the disease claims a one-third of people within a twelve months and more than half within 24 months of identification, as swallowing and respiration become more difficult.
Therapy can only retard worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and started removing the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the present.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be very intensely focused on just embracing and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very blessed that the primary determination I made when I left playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those years back."
Athlete Link
Professional competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with research suggesting the incidence of the illness is up to six times greater than in the general population.
It is considered that by reducing the O2 available and creating injury to neural pathways, consistent, vigorous exercise can initiate the illness in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, unwavering approach to the game.
He played through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a workout scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a tackle pad and started throwing himself into collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the decisive phase of play, establishing a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Assistance Network
Moody has already informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a handful of other former colleagues about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that type of care and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he commented.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to consider your love your career, it's one of the most important blessings.
"To have done it for so extended a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will desire to support in every way they can and I await having those discussions."
